The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized
The Gold Standard Polarized

The Gold Standard Polarized

$89.00

Then High-Five Yourself

Gold, our primal instincts draw us to this element. its Universal:

“The secret knowledge”, according to the Illuminati, is the story of creation. According to this belief, the Annunaki, an alien race from the planet, Nubira, arrived on earth in 6000 BC. These beings wished to create a race of slaves to mine gold from the earth. 

The Polarized version of the Gold Standard will become your ticket to keeping the Annunaki at bay. They might steal your sunglasses though, hopefully they are nice. 

#conspiracy

 

Oh okay, so you need some convincing? Try this on for size poindexter:

  • Military design.
  • 3 adjustment points for the perfect fit.
  • Optimal peripheral vision.
Are we going to back up our product? Of course.
Yeah, we'll replace your Pit Vipers, but you have to do something for us. Get this:
Send us a video of you breaking your Pit Vipers, or a dramatic reenactment, and you just earned yourself another pair. One time only... go ahead and break them but you better make us laugh. 
Check out our warranty page.

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