TIME LEFT UNTIL YOU LOSE $5000
Q: Why are you sold out/When is the next restock?
A: We are very popular and very very cool. We will be restocking again SOON(ish). If you put your email in the box on their product page you will get a notification as soon as that item is available. Act fast, before we sell out again.
Q: I didn’t get an order confirmation / tracking number?
A: Many mail services think we are inappropriate. Check your spam folder. Tracking numbers will send once your order has shipped out, and may also be hiding in your “spam” or “promos” folder.
Q: I need to return or exchange my glasses?
A: Set that up HERE!
Q: I need a new nose piece?
A: Email us with your original order number, exact model, and full shipping address. We will send you a new one free of charge.
Q: What size glasses do I buy? Original or Double Wide?
A. Here is a Printable Wide Guide for sizing up your melon!
Q: My glasses don’t float?
A: Do fake boobs float? Sadly, no. Neither do our glasses. They are Float RESISTANT™. If you lose them in the water that is your own damn fault. All that can help you now is creating a dramatic reenactment for a discount.
Q: Do you do military/first responder/medical worker discounts?
A: Yes. You rock. Send a photo of the respective ID/badge or a photo in uniform to us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can get you set up.
Q: You sent me the wrong glasses!?
A: If your package came from somewhere other than 1465 S 700 W, Salt Lake City, or your order number starts with “PV”, see next question. If your order confirmation did come from a @pitvipersunglasses.com account and we screwed up, please send us a picture of the items you did receive and your order number. We will SHAME ourselves and make it right.
Q: Are you having a too-good-to-be-true 60/70% off sale? / Did I get scammed?
A: We are NOT having a sale that good. Scammers are out there, and can make their website look a lot like ours. We have noticed a recent influx of scam websites and are doing everything in our power to shut them down. We do not sell on eBay, wish, or Amazon. Make sure that the URL at the top of your screen is always www.pitvipersunglasses.com. If your order confirmation email came from an address other than frank@ info@ or email@example.com you have been scammed.** Contact your bank account for appropriate steps, and start a payment dispute with your bank/paypal. It is easier than it sounds and can help you get your money back.
**We have a FEW authorized sellers online, which you can review HERE. They will never pretend to be us or copy our website, unless their design team really drops the ball.
Q: I’M A BIG DUMB IDIOT AND I PUT IN THE WRONG ADDRESS HELP?
A: We are unable to change addresses once you place an order. Get it right the first time. Your best bet is to keep an eye on tracking, contact the local post office when it gets close, and request to pick it up in person. If that doesn’t work, email us with your order number and an explanation for how you managed to screw up so bad.
Q: When will my order ship?
A: Our sexy shipping team ships shades Monday thru Friday*. The shipping cut off for same-day shipping is at noon, and they do not work nights (we aren’t AmazonPrime). If you place an order Friday at 1:00pm, it will not ship until Monday. That includes FedEx Overnight, so read up before you pay $69 for shipping.
*On Fridays, the shipping team works shirtless. Enter warehouse with caution or excitement.
Q: How long will it take for my order to arrive?
A: Totally depends where you live and what shipping method you pay for. Free shipping in the USA takes about 3-5 business days, read up on the rest HERE.
Q: My order says it was delivered but I haven’t received it?
A: Many times orders are marked delivered when they have really just made it to your hot mailman’s truck. Give it a few business days, make sure you check all around the house and with some of your neighbors, and if they have not arrived 3 business days later contact your local post office. If they insist it was delivered, send us an email.
Q: I have press questions.
A: By "press questions" we assume you mean you work for a newspaper, or journal, or tribune, or gazette, or something along those lines. If you're a hard hitting reporter, with big lamestream media questions for us, take them to firstname.lastname@example.org