Now just what the fuck is going on here?

If you know us, you know the only thing we enjoy more than making money is spending money. This year, we’re spending money on YOU.

We’re giving away 12 certified FULL TURBO prizes for the 12 Days of Turbo.

Every day a new prize will reveal itself. The window to enter is open until midnight MST each day, so don’t hesitate. Enter right now and you just may find yourself on the receiving end of a very drunk, excited, possibly overly flirtatious late night phone call from our Marketing team. That’s 12 prizes and 12 chances to win big. And we mean BIG.

Wait, I don’t want to WIN FREE CARS. I want to PAY for things! Take me back to

The Prizes

Now open entry closes in

Day 5
10 Barrel’s Van Full of Beer

We teamed up with 10 Barrel Brewing Co. and are gifting you this entire ass painted van full of beer. You get to drink the beer AND keep the van. You can do whatever you want with it, we won’t tell! Use it as a band van. Make friends with the homeless guy who may or may not be sleeping in it as we speak. Sell your house and kids and hit the open road. Just don’t drink and drive.


Day 1
A Custom Pit Viper High Performance Van ( HPV )

This top-of-the-line AWD 1998 Chrysler Town and Country was purchased from a nice guy named Omar and hand-modded by DIY legend Chuck Mumford. The loaded, custom High Performance Van Build now sleeps 0-5 and features Big Agnes bedding, a light bar, perfectly average deck, modular awning, kitchen cart, custom Pit Viper storage containers, additional cup holders, heater, water tank, cargo compartment, and 100ft power cord (with caddy). Take ‘er for a spin in your nearest National Park, and show those tourists what real scenery looks like.

Mary L. from Wakeforest, NC is taking home HPV thanks to Pit Viper!


Day 2
A Lifetime Supply of Toilet Paper

Fuck bidets, am I right? Admittedly, there’s no real answer to the age old Google search; “What is a lifetime’s supply of toilet paper?” Sources say we use an average of 57 sheet a day, but they lack adjustments for No Wipe November or Devastating Breakup December. We did the math, used our work to wipe, and accidentally flushed our final calculations. You know what, 3,200 rolls sounds about right.

Lauren H. from Campbell, CA gets to wipe for life!


Day 3
All-Inclusive Sandals Jamaica Vacation

You could win a trip to Sandals Jamaica for you and your special friend. Enjoy an all-inclusive 5-day luxury vacation to an adults only resort. Wait, seriously, “adults-only”? Free liquor, “private” pools? Hold on, has anyone actually been to a Sandals resort? What kind of freaky shit goes on there? Win this flight + stay package and let us know.

Jessica M. from Sarasota, FL just won her honeymoon! Congrats you two!


Day 4
Your Very Own Song & Music Video

Step 1: Work alongside our in-house musical masterminds as they write, perform, and record a song just for you.

Step 2: Fly out to inspiring Salt Lake City, Utah, and spend a full day with the Pit Viper gang while we bring it all to life in a full effort music video - a la the cult sensation Gogglés.

Step 3: Enjoy the fame and remember us when you’re living in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars.

You may just catch Abbie S. from Dallas, TX on MTV with her very own hit song and music video!


Day 6
A Trip to Pastranaland

Holy fucking shit, we’re sending you to PASTRANALAND. No skills required. Signed jersey, Pit Vipers, and general chaos included, duh. Spend no less than 6-9 hours riding pit bikes, learning to backflip, screaming, getting your ass beat in beer pong, or whatever you want with moto legend Travis Pastrana in his own backyard. (No overnight stays this time, we tried a full 24 hours once and we still can’t find that guy.)

Entry Opens In:


Day 7
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Entry Opens In:


Day 8
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Entry Opens In:


Day 9
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Entry Opens In:


Day 10
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Entry Opens In:

18+USA Only

Day 11
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Entry Opens In:


Day 12
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Entry Opens In:

Frequently Asked Questions

For You Stupid FAQers:

Technically none of you have asked any stupid questions yet because we’re posting this before the giveaway goes live. These are just our guesses at the dumb questions you’ll probably ask.

I don’t understand the rules. It seems like you ran out of space up top to explain this and I like long-winded explanations. What’s the big idea?

We are giving away 12 honestly insane prizes from now until November 30th. One prize per day. One mental breakdown for our team per day. One winner per day.

How long is this going on for?

12 Days. Hence why we’re calling it, the “12 Days of Turbo.” We’ll start right after midnight on November 19th and end in a drunken rage around midnight, November 30th.

How do I enter?

Each day a new prize will arrive. Click the enter to win button. Fill out your name. Then your last name. Then your email. Then--you know what--you got this.

How long do I have to enter?

You have all day to enter for that day’s prize. Entries will close at midnight MOUNTAIN STANDARD TIME (!!!). We made it really hard for you to fuck it up this year.

Can I enter for every prize?

You can enter for all 12 prizes, but remember: you DO have to come back each day to enter for that day’s prize. We suggest doing this. These are awesome prizes.

Can I enter multiple times for one prize?

I mean technically, yes. But we’ll be filtering out all multiple entries, so I’d find something better to do with your time.

How old do I have to be to enter?

18 or older*. Last year we said we didn’t give a fuck. Turns out, the new legal guy we hired really does. Thanks a lot, Derek.

* (Unless the prize involves alcohol. In that case, your age will be verified by state officials when you pick up the prize. If you’re not 21, they will not give it to you. So don’t waste your time or theirs.)

What’s the catch? Do I have to buy something?

You don’t have to buy anything to enter. You don’t have to sign anything to enter. We won’t text you or sell your phone number if you enter. We may harass you if you enter, but only if you win.

When are the winners decided?

The winner is decided the day after the entries close. We like fast turnarounds here. Suspense is for foreplay and scary movies.

How will I know if I won?

We will call you. Probably from a number you’ve never seen before. Answer your damn phone. There may be a free car waiting on the other line.

What if I don’t want the prize I won?

Yes you do, you signed up for it.

Is this legal?

What do we look like, attorneys?

How will you get the prize to me?

Don’t worry about it sweetheart. If it’s shippable, we’ll spend a ridiculous amount of money to ship it to you. If it’s not, we’ll fly you out to retrieve it.

Can I contact your customer service to ask questions even though you wrote out this whole FAQ to prevent that?

We’d rather you didn’t but ok, Karen.

How are you making money off this?

We aren’t. Our accountant Neil is tearing his hair out as we speak.

Couldn’t you have just done a discount for Black Friday like everyone else?

Yes, but we wanted to see if we could make our graphic designer cry again.

Knock Knock. Who’s there?


I Who?

I don’t have time for this I’m trying to write an FAQ.

Why only 12 Days?

We wanted to do 13 but our accountant Neil looks really ugly when he cries.

What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you’re gonna hurl?

I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she’s yours. But if you spew and you bolt, it was never meant to be.

I made it to the bottom. Do I win anything?

Congratulations. You won this.