YOU COULD WIN THIS

Put it in. Trust us. It's going to feel really good.

What the fuck are we doing here? 


We are giving away one wet and wild prize every half hour, for 10 hours. That’s 18 prizes and 18 chances to win. Enter to win before the 30 minute window closes, don’t fuck this up.


AND everything on the site is 25% off? Those 1000 free beers (below) just saved you a fortune, spend it on Pit Vipers.


Watch us LIVE on Instagram

The Prizes

EVERYTHING ON THE SITE25% OFF

25% OFF the Entire Pit Viper Website

Everybody is a winner on Black Friday 7: The Sale. SHOP NOW!

Entry Opens In:

GRAND PRIZEUSA Only

The Pit Viper Prizm

This one-of-a-kind Pit Viper wrapped 4 door 1999 Chevrolet Prizm LSi features a 6-disc CD changer, floor mats, beaded seat covers, hassle-free manual windows, and air conditioning that might work. A $15,000 value in 1999.

Includes (2) one-way tickets to romantic Salt Lake City, Utah to come pick up your brand new car! *AAA Roadside Assistance included.

Andrew K. from Danville, California just WON a free fucking car.

USA Only

1990 Sea Doo Bombardier GT

Make waves with your new top-of-the-line watercraft! The 1990 Sea-Doo Bombardier GT boasts a 587 Rotax engine and includes reverse, a first for Sea-Doo. This stunning, 3 passenger, water rocket has a top downhill speed of 97 miles per hour, making it the perfect escape boat in international waters.

Cole M. from Steamboat Springs, Colorado would survive in a Waterworld-type scenario.

USA Only

Health Insurance for a Year

Pit Viper is giving away a year of free health insurance. Take that, Obama. According to our intern’s calculations on healthcare.gov, a 21-year-old with questionable income can get insurance for $208 a month. That’s the number we are going with. Through 12 monthly payments, Pit Viper is paying your health insurance in 2020.

Chris G. from San Francisco, California isn't stressed about navigating healthcare.gov.

USA Only

1995 Suzuki RM 250

The clean-styled RM 250’s 2-stroke engine features increased crankshaft flywheel mass for smooth power delivery. Whatever the fuck that means. If all that weren’t enough, get these made-up stats; the RM 250 has teflon coated 4 wheel drive turboliquid hydrocooling and case-reed-charged gasket induction for the hypersmooth, uncontrollable tourqe-speed horsepower exchange engine fuel cyclone all-terrain characteristics you need to blast your way to the checkered flag.

Trevor S. from San Mateo, California gets a damn supercross bike.

One of Everything We Make

Win this prize and have your holiday shopping done for the next decade. Go to pitvipersunglasses.com and add one of everything to your cart. That’s one of every style of sunglasses in stock and one of every piece of apparel and accessory on the site. All jokes aside, we mean everything on the website. All 69 items.

Issy W. from Dunedin, New Zealand is taking one of everything from Pit Viper.

USA Only21+

A Year of Beer

Taller than the Statue of Liberty, the same volume as 50 basketballs, 70 human bodies worth of blood, 200 human stomach fulls, 600 starbucks venti orange mocha frappuchinos, the volume of 5,000 eggs, and 1/7000 the size of an olympic swimming pool these one thousand Montucky Cold Snacks are yours as long as you are 21 or older and can provide a valid ID to your local beer distributor.

Lizzy G.from Seattle, Washington is having several hundred drinks on Montucky.

USA Only

1990 Yamaha Phazer II

Take any stretch of snow by storm! With a 2 stroke, twin, torque induction engine and comfortable cockpit style seating, the 1990 Yamaha Phazer II does it all. American Snowmobiler Magazine called it “one of the best deep powder machines around.” Larry Enticer called it “second best.” You be the judge when you win this $4,600 MSRP sled today!

One Phazer, set to stun for one Patrick H. from Cedar City, Utah.

Ski Vacation to Taos, NM

A most-expenses paid trip to Taos Ski Valley, the mystical haven known for some of the most untamed chutes, bowls, and glades in North America. Your package for 2 includes 3 days of ski tickets, and 3 lavish nights of relaxation at the 4-star, soulful-modern Blake Hotel. Special bonus is your once-in-a-lifetime chance to ski with American Ski Actor and Pit Viper Founder, Chuck Mumford.*

*dates dependent, only one run guaranteed based on varied skill level.

Julia L. from Bow, New Hampshire will be tearing it up in Taos.

A Brand New Port-A-Potty

From PolyJohn, the standard PJN3 unit is celebrating over 30 years on the market. This workhorse of the portable restroom industry has seen countless improvements over the years, including the non-splash urinal, the now-standard mirror, and a 4” ventilation duct to ventilate all odors. Featuring 17.5% more floorspace than any other portable restroom in its class, you won’t find a better toilet.

Mike B. from Arcata, California will be pooping in comfort.

SLIPPERY18+

55 Gallon Drum of Lube

You’ve seen it on the internet, now you can enjoy it at home. It’s a 55-gallon drum of lube. This barrel of lube comes complete with a pump for quick and easy application. Your imagination is the limit with this natural water-based lubricant. Need we say more? It’s 55 gallons of lube.

Morgan L. from Chatanooga, TN - Our slipperiest Winner yet!

10 Calls from Chris Hansen

That’s right, after Chris “To Catch A Predator” Hansen’s invoice fraud came crashing down on him in 2019, he’ll do just about anything for money. So we’re paying him to call whomever you want and ask them to “have a seat over there.” Call your stepdad, call your old gym teacher, call lovermangenuis_03@aol.com and let him know Chris Hansen is alive and well.

Eric S. from Ontario, Canada is catching predators.

FROSTBITE WARNING

Cruzin Cooler CZ-HB Sport

It’s a 27-can cooler you can drive. That’s right, the Cruisin’ Cooler keeps 27 cans ice cold while you scoot around at speeds up to 13 miles per hour. Complete with 8” wheels, dual brakes, three speed settings, and LED head and tail lights. It’s street legal! No it isn’t. Drive up to 10 miles away from your wife on the coolest motorized vehicle on this list.

Ryan W. from Reynolds, Ohio is a Drink Driver.

The Travis Pastrana-Rama

Straight from Mr. Professional Everything himself, it’s Travis Pastrana’s package! This incredible prize pack features a signed jersey and personal shout out to 3.7M fans on instagram. Plus, be the first to own a pair of the unreleased Travis Pastrana “Party in Plaid” Pit Viper 2000s. That is one impressive package!

Will B. will be getting a nod from Travis. Will B. Partying in Plaid!

Collector’s Edition Pit Vipers & Briefcase

Before Pit Viper had a NASCAR, before Pit Viper even had a website, Pit Vipers were hand-painted and sold out of a briefcase. Here’s your chance to own a piece of history. Deep from the Pit Viper archives comes an untouched pair of The Responders, in a matching briefcase. A true collectors item for the Pit Viper fan in your family.

Meghan from Pennsyltucky is now an O.G. Key Player

Go-Go Elite Traveller 3-Wheel Scooter

From Go-Go, the Traveller 3-Wheel Scooter features a 10 mile range, quick-and-easy turning, and a 420lbs weight capacity. You will glide with ease in the house, through the aisles of Walmart, or all the way down to The Exotic Kitty Gentlemen’s Club. No drivers license required, even uncle Carl can drive one of these.

Steph S. from Wisconsin no longer has to walk through the Grocery store.

Elliptigo 3C Elliptical Bike

Eliptigoing, going, gone! Low impact, high performance. Does it make sense? No! Are we still giving it away? Yes! Take all the things you like about running, and all the things you like about cycling, throw them out the window and hop on this brand new Elliptigo 3C, the elliptical trainer that tells the whole town, “I want everybody to see my New Years resolution.”

Quinn from Colorado won't be skipping leg day.

Zorb

Remember wanting this when you were 12? Now you can have it. Zorb, an inflatable death trap. The fun activity everyone is dying to try, this human sized hamster ball is made of tough PVC. Stuff your cousin full and cram him in the hole, no worries thanks to the easy wipe-down finish.

Austin C. from Colorado Springs, CO is getting inflated.

A NEW PAIR OF INLINE SKATES

Thighmaster, jazzercize, Prince, not all good things from the 90s are dead. Rollerblading is alive and well in the world of Pit Viper. From the brand we choose, choose a brand new pair of inline skates.

Too late! Lucia A. from Sydney, Australia beat you to 'em!

Frequently Asked Questions

For You Stupid FAQers:

Technically none of you have asked any stupid questions yet because we’re posting this before the contest goes live. These are just our guesses at the asinine questions you’ll probably ask. 

What day is this happening?

Black Friday. Black Friday 2019. Friday, November 29, 2019. The day after Thanksgiving. The day when we remember how the Native Americans and pioneers came together to get dank deals on flat-screen TVs.

How do I play?

Let us hold your hand here. First you put in your email address. Then you wait. Then you check your email to see if you won.

How long does it last?

18 Prizes x 30 Minutes Per Prize = You do the math. We’re picking the first winner at 11:30am MST. Alternate answer: not as long as she wishes it would.

How many prizes can I enter to win?

How many prizes are there again? That many.

How will I know that I won?

Remember how you entered with your email address? Check your email. Check your spam folder. Don’t miss this email, there might be a free car in it.

How many questions can I ask?

One less now.

Can I contact your customer service to get better answers about what’s going on?

We’d rather you didn’t but ok, Karen.

How old do I have to be to enter?

18 or older, or younger.

How are you going to get a car to me? Do I have to come pick up that snowmobile?

Pretty simple freight logistics, really. You provide us a shipping address and we spend a stupid amount of money to execute what seemed like a smart joke back in August. Except for the car, you come get that.

How are you going to pay my health insurance?

You’ll invoice our accountant. Not kidding.

What if I don’t want the prize I won?

Yes you do, you signed up for it.

Is this legal?

What do we look like, attorneys?

How do we verify somebody’s age?

You will pick up the beer from your local distributor. If you are under 21 they will not give it to you. Don’t waste your time or theirs.

Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?

Yes.

Chris Hansen already talked to my stepdad on S02E03 of To Catch a Predator. Is it possible to get a different prize?

No it is not possible to exchange your prize for a different prize, and sorry.

Canadian Black Friday was over a month ago. Is it possible for me to enter?

Yes, all items except for the car, the snowmobile, the dirt bike, the sea-doo, the health insurance, and the beer. Basically everything we didn’t feel like shipping internationally. If you have a problem with that, remember at least you have free healthcare.

Well I already have free health insurance provided by my government, can I get a different prize?

We get it you live in Canada.

Couldn’t you have just done a discount for Black Friday like everyone else?

We are doing a 25% off discount site wide but we wanted to see if we could make our graphic designer cry again.

What makes this different than any other online sweepstakes?

1600 ounces of lube.

Why is it Black Friday 7?

We’re numbering our Black Friday events now.

What will Black Friday 8 be?

The bankruptcy.

Can I return these items for cash or store credit?

Maybe, try Target.

Is anyone still reading this?

Congratulations. You’ll find this funny.